Where we start
The running case has reached its hardest conversation. Lumen Logistics, the invented Singapore freight company, has sent the draft contract to Manager Wang of its Shanghai distributor, and he has come back on price. Tonight you write Lumen's side of that exchange and read his. Nothing here is a script for a whole culture: it is a way of noticing what is at stake for the person across the table, a handful of phrases you will hear, and a structure that keeps a negotiation moving towards a date.
★ What you walk out with tonight. Graham and Lam's point about face, quoted at source and held as a tendency rather than a rule; three softened refusals, each with an open question that answers it without forcing a yes; the if-clause that turns a concession into a trade; and six turns of a price negotiation you wrote yourself, each inside the WeChat band, ending in a meeting with a date.
面子 (miànzi, face)
5 min live面子 (miànzi, face) is the standing a person holds in the eyes of others. In a negotiation it is at stake on both sides of the table at once. John L. Graham and N. Mark Lam, writing in the Harvard Business Review in October 2003, put the risk in one line: "a broken promise or display of anger or aggression causes mutual loss of face". Mutual is the word to hold on to. The person who breaks the promise or loses their temper loses face as well as the person on the receiving end.
LiveFace, as Graham and Lam put it3 min▶
The source is John L. Graham and N. Mark Lam, "The Chinese Negotiation", Harvard Business Review, October 2003. The line quoted above is theirs: "a broken promise or display of anger or aggression causes mutual loss of face". They treat face as a kind of social capital that both negotiators hold and can spend or lose. Read that way, an angry outburst is not only rude: it costs the person who makes it, and it costs the person who has to sit through it in front of colleagues.
Two practical habits follow directly from their line. Promise only what you can deliver, including small things such as "I will send the revised terms today", because a small promise broken still counts. And when a number frustrates you, say so in a level voice and in words, not in tone: 目前的价格对我们来说有一定难度 (mùqián de jiàgé duì wǒmen lái shuō yǒu yídìng nándù, the current price is somewhat difficult for us) says the same thing as anger without the cost.
The other items on the scale, giving credit in public, disagreeing in private, leaving room for a later answer, are common professional practice. No source in the map behind these pages states them, and the figure labels them that way.
Self-studyA tendency, not a rule: the disagreement3 min▶
Any description of "how Chinese people negotiate" is a generalisation about a very large and varied group of people and companies. Writers on culture and negotiation disagree about how much such generalisations help, and that disagreement is worth knowing rather than settling here.
One view: cultural patterns such as face are a useful first map. They explain behaviour a newcomer would otherwise misread, such as a polite non-answer, and they prompt you to protect the other side's standing, which costs you nothing.
The other view: the person across the table is an individual first. Their company, industry, generation, training and personal style may matter more than national culture, and a negotiator who arrives with a list of "Chinese traits" can stereotype the very person they need to read, or miss that the other side is as direct as anyone in Singapore.
The working position for these pages: treat face as a tendency to watch for, not a prediction. Notice what the actual person does, and adjust. Manager Wang is a constructed character; the real Manager Wang you meet may run his meetings in a way no article describes.
The promise that was too small to matter. A constructed case: Lumen Logistics, 鲁门物流 (Lǔmén Wùliú, Lumen Logistics), Manager Wang and every scenario on this page are invented for the running case. In an earlier round, a Lumen manager closed a call with "I will send the volume forecast tomorrow" and sent it four days later. Nobody complained. But in the next meeting Manager Wang's team checked every figure twice, and the price conversation started from caution rather than trust. The fix was dull and effective: from then on, Lumen only named a date it had already cleared internally.
The indirect no
5 min liveA flat 不行 (bù xíng, no, that will not work) across a negotiating table is rare in business Chinese, and part of the reason is the scale in Part 1: a hard no can cost face on both sides. What you hear instead is a softened phrase. Three are very common: 再考虑考虑 (zài kǎolǜ kǎolǜ, let us think about it more), 我们研究一下 (wǒmen yánjiū yíxià, we will look into it) and 有一定难度 (yǒu yídìng nándù, it is somewhat difficult). This is common usage that any business speaker will recognise, not a finding from a published source, and how firm each one is depends on who says it and how.
LiveThree phrases, and a question that answers each3 min▶
| You hear | A common reading | An open follow-up |
|---|---|---|
| 再考虑考虑 (zài kǎolǜ kǎolǜ, let us think about it more) | Not yet. A real maybe, or a polite delay. | 我们什么时候再沟通比较方便 (wǒmen shénme shíhou zài gōutōng bǐjiào fāngbiàn, when would suit you to talk again)? |
| 我们研究一下 (wǒmen yánjiū yíxià, we will look into it) | The decision is not theirs alone, or the answer is no and they are softening it. | 您看哪方面比较难 (nín kàn nǎ fāngmiàn bǐjiào nán, which part is difficult, in your view)? |
| 有一定难度 (yǒu yídìng nándù, it is somewhat difficult) | Very often a no, said politely, with room left to reopen it. | 怎样调整会比较可行 (zěnyàng tiáozhěng huì bǐjiào kěxíng, what adjustment would make it workable)? |
These readings are common usage, not a sourced finding: no source behind these pages measures how often each phrase means no. Treat each as a signal to ask, not a verdict to act on.
Self-studyReading them without forcing a yes2 min▶
The mistake learners make is to hear "we will look into it" as an agreement in progress and then press: "so is that a yes?". That turns a softened no into a public one, which is exactly the face cost Part 1 described. The better move is one of the open follow-ups above, or a new proposal that changes the terms, which is Part 3. Either keeps the other side's standing intact and the conversation alive.
You can also use the phrases yourself. When a number does not work for Lumen, 有一定难度 (yǒu yídìng nándù, it is somewhat difficult) tells Manager Wang so without the flat 不行 (bù xíng, no, that will not work), and turn 1 of the build-along does exactly that.
A note on the pinyin: 一下 (yíxià, a little, briefly) and 一定 (yídìng, certainly, a certain) are written here with the tone you say, yí before a fourth tone. Standard pinyin (GB/T 16159-2012) writes the original tone, yī, and allows the changed tone to be written in teaching, which is what these pages do.
Concessions and the next step
4 min liveWhen the other side signals no, the answer is a new proposal, and the frame for it is 如果 ... 的话 (rúguǒ ... de huà, if ..., in that case): if your company could do this, we could do that. Every 让步 (ràngbù, concession) Lumen makes is attached to something it gets back. And the negotiation does not end with agreement; it ends with a next step, an owner and a date.
Live如果 ... 的话 (rúguǒ ... de huà, if ..., in that case): propose a trade2 min▶
如果 (rúguǒ, if) opens the condition and 的话 (de huà, in that case) closes it; the offer follows. In business writing the pattern carries both halves of a trade in one sentence:
如果贵公司能把单价降低百分之五的话 (rúguǒ guì gōngsī néng bǎ dānjià jiàngdī bǎi fēn zhī wǔ de huà, if your company could lower the unit price by five percent)，我司可以把合同期延长到两年 (wǒ sī kěyǐ bǎ hétongqī yáncháng dào liǎng nián, we could extend the contract term to two years)。
The condition comes first, so the other side hears what they would get before they hear what they would give. Either half can be shortened in speech; 的话 (de huà, in that case) is often dropped, and 如果 (rúguǒ, if) alone is still correct. This is ordinary grammar, at the level of any dictionary or textbook.
Self-studyWhy trade, and why end on a date2 min▶
Trade, do not give. A cut offered for nothing tells the other side the first price had room in it, and invites the next request. A cut offered for something, a longer term, a faster payment, a larger volume, keeps both sides' positions intact: each can report the deal upstairs as something they won. That is common negotiation practice, taught widely, not a finding from the source on this page.
End on a date. Here Graham and Lam's line returns. A next step with a date is a promise, and a broken promise costs face on both sides. So name only a date you have cleared: 修改后的条款我今天下班前发您 (xiūgǎi hòu de tiáokuǎn wǒ jīntiān xiàbān qián fā nín, I will send you the revised terms before the end of today) is a promise worth making only if it will be kept.
The two percent that bought nothing. A constructed case. Early in the talks, keen to be agreeable, a Lumen manager offered two percent off "as a gesture" and asked for nothing back. Manager Wang thanked him and, at the next meeting, asked for three more. The reset came from attaching every later move to a condition, 如果 ... 的话 (rúguǒ ... de huà, if ..., in that case), and the deal that was finally signed traded price against term and payment, never against nothing.
Six turns of a price negotiation
★ 22 min · everyone writesManager Wang has come back on the unit price in the draft contract, and the two of you settle it over WeChat. Six turns: three are Lumen's, which you write, and three are his, which you read and answer. Each turn climbs one rung of the Part 3 ladder, and each is checked against the WeChat band with the formality checker from session 3. The numbers in the steps are what the checker computes on the Chinese printed here, without the pinyin and English.
Turn 1 · state the position, calmly. Address him by title, name the quote, and say the price does not work with the softened phrase from Part 2. Compare the pushy version a frustrated learner might type: 你们公司这个价太高了 (nǐmen gōngsī zhège jià tài gāo le, your company's price is too high)，赶紧降一点吧 (gǎnjǐn jiàng yìdiǎn ba, hurry up and bring it down a bit)，不然没法谈 (bùrán méi fǎ tán, or there is nothing to talk about)。 The checker puts that at index 34, WeChat fit 76, too casual; and it is the "display of anger or aggression" Graham and Lam warn about.
Turn 2 · read his reply, and do not press. He does not say no. He explains, and then uses 我们研究一下 (wǒmen yánjiū yíxià, we will look into it). Asking "so is that a yes?" here would force a public no. A new proposal is the better answer.
Turn 3 · propose with 如果 ... 的话 (rúguǒ ... de huà, if ..., in that case). Thank him, then put the condition first and the offer second. Lumen asks for five percent off and offers a longer contract in return: a trade, not a gift.
Turn 4 · read his counter-trade. He accepts the shape of the deal and moves both numbers: a smaller cut, and something back for his side, faster payment. Note that he trades too. A counter like this is progress, not a refusal.
Turn 5 · summarise the deal and make one promise. Say the whole deal back in one sentence, so nobody remembers it differently, and promise only what you have cleared: the revised terms, today.
Turn 6 · the next step and a date. The top rung of the ladder. His reply names who acts, what happens and when. If he had not given a date, your next message would ask for one.
Check your own turns. Rewrite turns 1, 3 and 5 with Lumen's real numbers or your own, typing the Chinese only (the pinyin and English above are for you, not for the checker). Choose "WeChat to a partner's manager you have met" and press check. If a turn drops below 42, the checker lists the casual words that pulled it down.
Write down the trade and the date. The checker counts register; it cannot tell whether a concession was traded or whether a date was named. Check those two yourself.
Write the trade in English before the Chinese. "If you ..., we can ..." in one English line first. Learners who start in Chinese tend to write the offer and forget the condition, and the if-clause is the part that makes it a trade.
Before session 6
30 min- Rewrite turns 3 and 4 with a different trade: volume for price instead of term for price. Use 如果 ... 的话 (rúguǒ ... de huà, if ..., in that case) in both, and check each against the WeChat band.
- Learn the three softened refusals with their follow-ups. Cover the right-hand column of the Part 2 table and say the open question for each phrase, then the reverse.
- Test the tendency against a real person. Think of one negotiation you were in, with anyone. Write down one moment where face seemed to be at stake, and one where the other person did not fit any cultural description you had heard. Bring both: the second is as useful as the first.
- Write one next-step line for a real meeting, with an owner and a date you have already cleared. Session 6 takes the same partnership to the dinner table and then to the capstone, where every turn of the six sessions comes together.
Three questions
Clear all three and session 5 gets stamped in your passport.
1 · In Graham and Lam, "The Chinese Negotiation" (Harvard Business Review, October 2003), what do a broken promise or a display of anger or aggression cause?
Their line is "a broken promise or display of anger or aggression causes mutual loss of face". It is their argument about a tendency, held as a tendency: individuals and companies vary.
2 · Manager Wang answers your offer with 我们研究一下 (wǒmen yánjiū yíxià, we will look into it). What is the best next move?
In common usage the phrase is a not-yet and often a soft no. Pressing turns it into a public no, which costs face on both sides; an open question or a new proposal keeps the talk moving. This reading is common usage, not a sourced finding.
3 · Why does Lumen attach every price cut to something it gets back?
Trading is common negotiation practice, and the build-along shows both sides doing it: term for price, then payment for price. The next step with a date still comes after the trade, never instead of it.
What this session teaches, and where it came from
Every fact on this page, and its verification tier, is recorded in the course's source map.
Session 5 cheat sheet · pin this
The price is agreed and the signing is booked. Session 6 moves the partnership to business dining, then runs the capstone: one exchange with Manager Wang from the first formal email to the signed terms, using every session's skill in turn.